Lyrics
Well, I found a shamrock
But I was looking for a real rock
And I got shampoo
Because I couldn’t find real poo
So I wrote a sham song
Before I ever wrote a real song
And you can sing along
Because it doesn’t go real long
Yes, I drink champagne
Because I never feel real pain
And I use a chamois
Because I couldn’t find the real me
Now I need a shanty
’Cause I’ve run out of real tea
Won’t you sing one to me?
(And now I’m talking ’bout the real me)
So I wrote a sham song
Before I ever wrote a real song
And you can all sing along
Because it doesn’t go real long
© 2020 At Swim-Two-Birds Music. (BMI)
Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Credits
Songwriter
Words and music by Christian Crumlish (BMI).
Personnel
- Christian Crumlish – electric ukulele, acoustic ukulele, vocals
- David Gans – guitar
- Robert Wade – bass
- Joe Craven – mandolin
Recording dates
| Date | Session details |
|---|---|
| October 27, 2023 | Wade on bass, Gans on acoustic guitar, Crumlish on electric and acoustic ukuleles. |
| August 16, 2024 | Craven added mandolin. |
| October 9, 2024 | Kollmeyer, Gans added harmony vocals. Crumlish added “ad lib” vocal on final chorus. |
| January 11, 2025 | Final mix. |
Song Notes
This one literally started in the shower. Before I got serious about writing songs (or maybe it was before I realized that a silly song is still a song) I was writing these couplets, riffing on a quip from an old M*A*S*H episode and some other traditional japes about real pain and sham friends and so on. By the time I was finishing the first song I wrote deliberately for this project, I realized that if I took one part and made it into a chorus, then I had myself a full song.
After that came the little melodic intro part that I used to play solo on my ukulele. David referred to that as an obligato and later Joe Kyle Jr. told us that some of his musical friends in New Orleans called it an “obble-gobble.” In the end Joe Craven doubled the second part of it, and it took us a while to figure out that I had preemptively played a harmony note in my solo version that was making it hard for him to play a third up from me (but we sorted that out!).
So, dad joke or real song, it ended feeling like a good way to ease people further into the collection.